Christmas 08

So, another Christmas has come and gone. Get everything you wanted. Wii, PS3, New LCD TV, Computer what did you get? Was it worth it? I hope you did not lose sight of what it was all about. Christ and his birth and ultimately his death. No man is a red suit, flying sled, no bag full of free stuff. NO that is not what Christmas is about. I like to think I am doing a good job or raising my kids to do the right thing and to be good kids. To do something for someone else just because, not because you get something back from it or that you are getting paid to do it. I too my kids to our church today so that we could shovel the sidewalks seeing as we have churh in morning. All the way there my middle child is telling me she does not want to shovel she is already cold and someone else should be doing this. needless to say when we got there it was not so bad. After about an hour though she starts in again about how cold she is and she wants to go home. NOw don't get me wrong it was a little brisk but seeing as i was shoveling the whole time i was rather hot and did not feel bad for her as she was laying in the snow and making snow angels and throwing snowballs at me and her brother. I like to think it was a good jesture for us to go there and shovel but I am not so sure they got anything out of it...other than a butterfinger and a hot chocolate. Me I felt great doing it, well that is until I stopped and stood there for a few minutes stiffining up. By the time I got home I was sore as hell. My wife stayed home with the youngest as she was taking a nap. But then I get the phone calls how much longer, are you going to be home soon. The usual response that I get when I am at the church. See I was layed off a little while ago and have not found a job yet. So I go to the church at least 3 to 4 times a week other than service on Sundays. Lots of stuff to do when you are non profit and no one else wants to do it. So here I sit now 2 in th morning can't sleep so I write. Pretty sure this is all BS but it seems to make me feel better.

I was sitting her watching crap on TV and the snow is gettting wet as it is getting warmer outside not then when the sun was up....I know the snow is getting sticky. Why not make a snowman. That will be fun. Got dressed and went out throught the garage. Guess I woke my wife up when the door opened. She is such a light sleeper, hard to get away with anything with that woman she hears everything I do. Anyways I got out to make a snowman in the front yard and I am looking at my neighbors house. not kids and the front yard looks great with all the snow right where God left it. Other than the driveway where he moved it off. So I start walking over there. I will make a snowman in his yard then I think to myself no I will make a huge penis. Right in his front yard. Well there are enough old people and kids on the street I think that might be a bad idea. Well then lets make one in his back yard. So I did. Perfect place for one. Only he sees it and hopefully he thinks it is funny. If not, well shit I do not know. So there I am in the bak yard not making a sound, well other than make a 4 foot penis in his back yard. The man has sleep sex with his wife so I figure if you are going to sleep through having sex with your wife you will sleep through your neighbor making a big old penis in your back yard right? well he does not wake up but the dog does. Great guard dog, just he loves everyone so he does not bark he just wants outside to play. So I have to move fast before the old man gets up and catches me. Worse than that hi old lady gets up goes to let the dog out sees someone in the back yard calls the cops and the next thing I know I am getting a face wash from a bunch of cops trying to tell them we are friends and I was making a penis in there back yard. Needless to say I do not get to spend as much time on the penis that I woudl have liked to. Hope they see it and laugh. I know I did while I was making it. Love ya batman. Have fun with the PS3 and the new TV. Great to have friends isn't it.

Later

First Blog Posting

Ok, so this is my first post not even sure how this damn thing works. Batman turned me on to this seeing as he has a blog along with T and they are always telling me what is on their blogs and how I am suppose to read them and be enlightened by them. So I do read them Batman is funny as always and T is well lets just say T needs to have a baby to complete her life. Perfect Body, Perfect husband, perfect dog, perfect job...but no kid so there life for some reason is incomplete. GD, guy goes over fixed their vent in the bathroom places lights on the Christmas tree helps put lights on the house and do i get a thanks, no. But Batman get to make love all night because he is the greatest husband on the planet.....puke. Give me a break. Sorry Batman and T. Had to bitch about something why not you.

Well seeing as how this is becoming a bitch session might as well just keep it going. So my DW and kids are going to go look at lights with my sister and the God Parents. Just prior to everyone going we are waiting for the GP to get here. The kids start to get a little crazy in the house so I send them outside to play in the snow. Five minutes, five stinking minutes later my middle child comes in the house covered in snow and crying, mind you she is kind of a heart on her sleeve kind of kid so everything is a big deal. Middle child syndrom I guess. Some one tells me that 83 percent of strippers are middle children....Great so for Christmas should I get her a brass pole and some knee high boots just to get a jump on the new job. Well I guess I have 10 more years before I have to worry about seeing her at a show in vegas. Anyways, she comes in crying. I ask what happened and she tells me the oldest threw the sled at her face. Now I can see he hit me with a snow ball but the sled, really do you need to throw the sled at her face. So I go out to solve the problem like my abusive parents would have, five fingers of justice. I barely get started and then the DW comes out and starts in on me how that never solves anything. I guess I am suppose to put them in time out or make them write me a story about how what they did was wrong and how they will not do it again. I think sometimes a belt to the butt might solve some of the sadness. Needless to say the trip to the lights was a complete wash we both started fighting on the way there and the while we were there. So I walked back to the car while everone was in there gardens looking at the lights...Got to the car and kept on walking 2 and half mile to be exact by the time they were tired of looking at lights and pist because I was not there when it was time to go. Guess I needed the fresh air so i did not blow up on the wife and kids anymore then I had already.

I get the email with a link in it to the funniest video I have ever seen. you have to see it. It is called Jizz in my pants you can find it on you tube or I just down loaded it from I tunes. O my god I have not stopped crying yet. If I can figure out how to post it on my blog I will but seeing as I can not even figure out how to post this stupid letter then I think you are all shit out of luck.


Later all